Hello lovely friends, family or fellow Baltimoreans,
If you don't know me, I'm a Baltimore lady who is confined to her apartment in Paris, France because we are on day four of a government mandated quarantine out of fifteen (although they say it will be extended). I know the U.S. will be here soon, states are closing one by one, but thought it might be nice to have some perspective from over here? If not, do nothing and you won't hear from me again, but if interested, I'll be doing a bit of a newsletter full of anecdotes from one of you over here...annoyingly I just ate the last of my crepes...
BUT we can only leave the house for groceries, solitary exercise within 1km of your house, to care for an elderly or go to the doctor's office and we must bring with us a note. (I've already gotten stopped by the police once. You get a fine if you don't have it.) But it's not all doom and gloom - I have plants and a balcony! INSERT PLANT AND HEART EMOJIS HERE.
Now, I'm generally early or late to pretty much everything in my life. Never on time. When someone tells a joke, I tend to laugh after everyone else has finished. Or, I'm early. Like I was early to Myspace. So early in fact that when I messaged Tom, he actually responded to me. (Yes, that's showing my age). To this whole quarantine thing, I was probably a good month early. 
You see, I've been writing a novel for the past five years, and I landed a literary agent about a month ago. Super exciting times, but bad timing since I locked myself into my darling Montmartre apartment, furiously spending twelve hour days writing and editing, only to hand in my book the same week the government mandated a lockin right when i was ready to flap my butterfly wings and swagger around town. (I've been laughing hysterically at Jared Leto exiting his twelve day meditation retreat only to find he must go back into confinement...because i can relate.)
So, after spending four days mostly hanging out with my anxiety, laying face down on the floor, cleaning cabinets, waving to my neighbors across the street, clapping at 8pm for the healthcare workers (it's taken off across Paris) or obsessively scrolling through social media, I'm ready to use my artistic self to create more good, funny or just real shit in the world. (For those Americans just about to go through this, they say it takes a good 3-4 days to adjust to wartime mentality, so take your time!). As a filmmaker, writer, and performer, I decided I would create this newsletter for Americans wondering what it's like to be in Paris during this crisis. 
Expect funny French memes (like the one below), videos of the last days in Paris before lockdown, uplifting videos of me and neighbors clapping for healthcare workers, perspectives from abroad and real info from a real person over here.
If interested, subscribe here, (and if not interested, I promise you won't here from me again!).
Gros Bisous,
French-ified Memes
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